Musings About Discrimination and Bullying

Taken from my Facebook Account:

http://lifestyle.inquirer.net/131783/my-stint-as-an-sm-grocery-bagger

This article (which I've linked), the writer, his friends, and the whole immersion program in Xavier School has been ridiculed by so many people, from anonymous posters to the likes of Carlos P. Celdran and some of his friends.


I think that that is the wrong way of going about things. Why?


1) These are children. Worse, they are the children of parents who may be overprotective (and I am conservative in that statement). If you will introduce a measure of social awareness within a school like Xavier, you must balance the attitudes of the parents themselves, versus the need to be socially aware. It's a tightrope act, and it's a situation where "working the system" is very important to get *any* action done.


2) By ridiculing their efforts, naysayers may even perpetuate the very social structure they are fighting against. Why? if these teenagers realize how people are looking down on them, then it sends a negative signal. What if they decide that social awareness is useless, because no one will believe them, anyway? well, then, congratulations, you've just turned these children into the next generation of uncaring businessmen you were trying to remove from the system. Bravo, gentlemen.


3) It doesn't reflect well on the people who attack *children*. Just think about it. I can understand talking to them, perhaps even asking them nicely to try and go further in their immersion activities, I can even understand if some people will offer them the chance of *really* living a life, however temporarily, devoid of all the luxuries they surround themselves with.


But to tell them they will never know what it feels like to be poor, so stop being fake? See possible reaction in #2.


I am deeply ashamed that people near my age and older are acting like bullies, refusing to help educate the younger generation. There's an opportunity here, and it's being wasted by class-war attitudes that have no place in true education.


To all of you who thought the writer and his friends are stupid rich kids: I am sad that you have closed your minds to the possibility of change.


To the "upper class" kids whose minds are becoming aware that there is a much bigger world out there: Keep on exploring, and keep on thinking. And forgive old fogeys who think you aren't good enough, because they see you as stupid rich kids. What you have to do is make sure that you don't grow up to be like that, and to always strive to be better.

It Gets Better.

This post is inspired by the It Gets Better Project.

To all of you young ones who are struggling with being gay, this is for you. Some of what I will write now is still like an open wound when I think about it. But between my pain and yours, I think it is more important if I can help at least one of you.

From a very young age, I had known I was different. By the time I hit thirteen, I was more or less sure that I was gay. But it wasn't such a big issue, as I didn't see any need to say it loud. Besides, at that point, I was being bullied for being a geek, which in some ways is even worse. But something happened, and I was found out to be gay. I'll say it now, much of it was my fault. I was remorseful, but I never lived it down.

The sad part was, the way things went, I was "taught" by my environment that what I did, what I was, was totally unforgivable, disgusting and proof that I was scum. Coupled with being bullied as a geek, I can truly say that I came close to killing myself a few times. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone else, and it was just my own shame at the thought of "giving up" through suicide that saved me. My life in high school had a profound effect on me, and until now, I carry many psychological scars.

So…you might be thinking…how does it get better?

Well, now, I'll tell you this:

My life, no matter how much I complain about it now, is much better.

I am in a job where my skills are appreciated. I've had some major road bumps along the way, but now, I can honestly say that I enjoy where I work.

I am in a band. I am an openly gay bass guitar player in a metal band. I'm not kidding. I make no bones about it, and I really don't care what people think, because I am incredibly proud of my band, of our music and of our uncompromising stand.

I have a large circle of friends and relatives who accept me, some of them being people whom I thought would never have accepted me - including my father. True, some of them get exasperated by my antics and eccentricities, but I love them all for simply being there for me.

Finally, I have been in a relationship with a man whom I dearly love for the past seven years. We moved in with each other last year into our own apartment. We have had our trials, but in the end, I get to sleep right next to a man who still manages to make my heart melt when he looks at me.

Don't give in, and if you have to grit your teeth for the time being, do so. Remember, once you can walk away from all of it, do so. That is your right. That is freedom.

So, to all of those you who are falling into despair:

We love you.

Live.

It will get better.